How I Feel About Swear Words, Goshdarnit

There are times when profanity offers relief that even prayer cannot provide.

AndrewDiceClay

There are times when profanity offers relief that even prayer cannot provide.

I don't remember where I read this, but it is so very true. Once in a great while, a situation arises that needs a really good swear word to relieve the tension, frustration, absurdity (fill in your own favorite word here) of the moment. The problem is that today, people use swear words in place of an adjective -- "That was a f***ing great movie, wasn't it?"

If used in everyday onversation, what do these people say when they really need to let out a good curse? Using the same word after, say, dropping a hammer on one's foot seems almost anticlimactic after using it three dozen times in the past hour to describe more mundane things.

We have comedians, such as Richard Pryor and Andrew Dice Clay, who helped to make cursing an acceptable part of everyday conversation. When they first began used profanity in their monologues, people laughed because it caught them by surprise and made the tale being told alarmingly funny. Lately, however, I've stopped going to comedy clubs because the so-called comedians use swearing cosntantly and nothing after the word is particularly funny.

So, where do I stand on swearing? I firmly believe that there are times when it is warranted. The rest of the time, when it is used in the course of a normal conversation, it is completely uncalled for.

The No-Fail Way to Make Me Roll My Eyes

Miss Parks at Madison Sq. (LOC)
What makes me roll my eyes, pull out my hair, and make me want to scream? The twenty-something females who insist on beginning and ending every sentence with the word "like".

Out of boredom one day on the train, I counted the number of times the dreaded word was used in a conversation beween two of these likers. During the twenty minute trip, there were thirty-six likes for one and an astounding forty-two for the other. This did not include the ums and the you knows that were used in conjuncion with likes.

Perhaps it is my past life as an educator in the English language arts, or my current profession as a writer, but such poor speaking skills make me wonder where the great orators of future generations will come from. Will a Senator one day be heard saying on CNN: "Um, you know, like, we really need this bill passed for the good of the like whole country."?

Seriously, if you need a moment to gather your thoughts before making your next statement, try silence. It will definitely give the impression of some intelligence rather than like-like-like-liking your way through life.

The Beginning of My Memoir

Beauty, according to Disney

ONCE UPON A TIME ...

Now there's a good start for my memoirs. But seriously, it was once upon a time when a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes (does it sound like a Disney movie yet?) grew up in the baddest part of Brooklyn.

Determined to fit in, I oftentimes strayed off the straight and narrow path (at least once a week, accroding to the number of detention slips I got in school). Still, she had a dream.

Hidden away under my bed were at last a dozen marble composition books, and each of them were filled with short stories. Some were the stories I handed in for homework for English class to please the teacher I hated the most (which was fair because she hated me right back). Barely readable on homework looseleaf but charming works of art from a young girl's mind when she didn't have to worry about margins and grammar.

Fast forward to the last chapter of my memoir. Well, it can't be the last chapter, really, because there's still a lot of living left for me to do. And what will I be doing in the years to come? Still writing (check out my latest novel, Once Upon a Moscow Night, if you like a good love story) and watch for my newest creation coming out this fall.

So, you want to know a little about my family and I have only three words with which to describe them? Only three, huh? That will be a tought one, but here goes ...

Fun-loving (is that one word?)
They're Irish, need I say more.

Quirky
Every family has it's own unique way of doing things and unique characters to do them. My family seems to have more than it's share of characters -- but I love them all anyway. That goes for the extended family of in-laws as well!

Loyal
We may argue vehemently amongst ourselves, but just let someone outside the family say something against one of us and see how fast the United Front of McGuinness stands together. The old addage that blood is thicker than water was never more true than around our house.

Help, I Have No Internet!

Writer's Digest Book Shipment

Could I live without the internet fir a month?

A month, or even two, without the internet would give me the chance to do some seriously uninterrupted writing and meet my deadlines with time to spare. Not that I don't work well under pressure; sometimes I thrive on it and get some of my best ideas because of it, but it would be nice to do things at a more leisurely pace once in a while.

Even at the most frenetic pace, however, if you have a story that is living inside your heart that needs to be told, it will come out. Perhaps not in the correct order (I've been known to write the end of a story first and work backwards on occasion) but it will eventually wind up on paper. I've worked with young writers who struggle to get every word perfect the first time and then become frustrated when they lose a thought because of this strive for perfection. Hey, that's what the editing process is all about!

But I digress. Could I live without the internet for a month? Mostly definitely yes! The question is, can you?

Soul Friends

They say the eyes are the window to the soul.

Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and seen something there that you just can’t explain but is just so familiar? Something that pulls at you and says “I know you” even though you’ve just met that person?

In the movie Hook (Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman), the Lost Boys look at the grown up Peter. The others don’t believe he’s Peter Pan, but one boy looks long and hard and squishes Peter’s face a bit. After considerable observation, he looks deep into Peter’s eyes and says “Oh! There you are, Peter!”

Energy doesn’t die, it is merely transformed. I believe the same thing of the soul. I also believe we develop deep connections to other souls over lifetimes spent together. Perhaps we were friends, lovers, family or enemies, but we have a connection that never dies. While we may not remember our past lives, the soul remembers who we were and recognizes past connections instantly.

I call these people Soul Friends.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel far and wide and to meet many people on this earth. Some of them I’ve forgotten while others I’ll never forget. So many were soul friends! People who I instantly knew that I liked but had no idea why. People I was drawn to without any reasonable explanation. People like Karen, Rose, Kevin, and too many others to list (but you all know who you are!).

While they always disappear into their lives far apart from mine, we still share that connection – a connection forged over lifetimes. No matter how long we are apart, we always seem to pick up again as though no time has passed.

When one soul cries out for help, the Universe delivers. Usually, it is just a matter of one soul saying to another “We are very old friends and I am here for you.”

For all the bad things happening in the world today, it is refreshing to know that sometimes good things happen to good people. On Wednesday, October 28, one of my firm’s pro bono clients, Dewey Bozella, was released from prison after spending the last 26 years incarcerated for the 1977 murder of 92-year old Emma Crapser in Poughkeepsie, New York – a crime that he did not commit. Dewey was released from state custody directly from a Dutchess County courtroom after an Assistant District Attorney announced in open court that the prosecution did not have any evidence available to re-try Dewey. In the presence of CBS News television cameras and photographers from the New York Times and several local media outlets, Dewey’s shackles were removed, he embraced his family and friends, and he walked out of the courtroom a free man. Dewey’s fight to clear his name took 32 years. However, now that he is free – for the first time in 26 years – he faces a new set of challenges. Dewey has never had a job. We are confident that Dewey will be able to find one, but the reality is that Dewey will likely start at the bottom and it will take time for him to gain responsibility and increase his compensation. Although Dewey is fortunate to have Trena by his side for emotional support, Trena is unable to work after recently undergoing a series of major surgeries. Dewey left the courtroom last week with nothing but $153 dollars and a suit on his back (purchased by our firm). How We Are Helping Dewey. Our team is determined to stand by Dewey’s side during these challenging times. We are working tirelessly to find media to spread Dewey’s story. We engage in such efforts not only to raise awareness about the injustices that Dewey has suffered, but also to help Dewey find financial support to enable his family to live comfortably during this critical time of his readjustment into society. We are looking into a potential civil lawsuit against the Dutchess County District Attorney’s Office (and potentially certain individuals) on Dewey’s behalf. But, there is no guarantee of success, and even if Dewey does prevail, it may take years until he receives any compensation from such a lawsuit. We are also reaching out to universities and other institutions seeking to obtain paid speaking engagements for Dewey. However, these speaking engagements cannot be set up overnight, and are not a permanent source of income. We are working with the Osborne Society to help find Dewey a job, enroll him in social service programs, and ensure that he and his family have appropriate medical care. Finally, our team members have reached into their own pockets and made personal donations to help Dewey get back on his feet, to get him some suitable clothing, and to help Dewey and Trena move into a slightly larger apartment. How You Can Help. While it is difficult for most of us to make ends meet in today’s economy, I ask that, if you can, please help Dewey. We have set up the following ways to contribute to Dewey’s transition: You can make a donation by credit card via PayPal (use the email address trena1002@msn.com), or make a purchase off of Dewey and Trena’s Wal-Mart registry (which our team helped them set up and includes Wal-Mart gift cards for sale). Please feel free to share this with others who may support Dewey’s cause and wish to help.